Sunday, December 17, 2006
We are experiencing blog-lag, please stand by.......
I had another post ready to go, one of my very best, no, make that THE post of all posts, the post that is SURE to put me in the top 1000 of all blogs, but since I have already gotten ahead of myself, I have to wait until the comments have caught up with my last posts in order to restore balance to my karma and the universe, thus avoiding a catastrophic failure of the laws of physics, which will make posting this next, might I say, specTACULAR post, all but impossible, based on the laws of relativity AND probability, as well as a few 80-odd year old laws still on the books in Alabama that really should have been thrown out with the horse and buggy. So, please do not allow this non-post to register in your conscious mind; just promptly forget you read it and allow my suggestion that you catch up on your comments to those last posts as soon as you can access them overtake your purpose in life so that I can post this next great post of epic proportions for your reading pleasure. Well, I'm ASSUMING you take pleasure from them. Yes, I have suspected for some time now that masochists gravitate towards my blog in order to enjoy the endorphins that suffering through it can produce, but I am stating right now that this theory is nothing more than a nasty rumor started by someone trying to suggest that "These Thoughts Escape Me" should be captured and locked up for good, the key thrown away, and pure, innocent minds protected for all time from my poisonous propaganda.
Well, anyway, I need to curtail this non-post, lest it stray into the realm of genuine discourse, which would totally screw up the reason I began typing this drivel to begin with. Remember, you needn't worry yourself about what it is I need you to do, since embedded within this post-which-isn't-really-a-post are hypnotic suggestions which will take over at the appropriate time and cause you to rush over and comment like crazy, after which any guilt you might have suffered from having to be manipulated into doing so will magically dissipate. See? Now you know why you love this blog so much!