Wednesday, November 22, 2006

The Triptophane Conspiracy



The madness has begun. An outlet store is advertising that they will open at MIDNIGHT on THANKSGIVING DAY, for their "after Thanksgiving" sale. This shopping orgy crap is really getting ridiculous!

And of course, the herds of shopping sheep will be lined up, jostling each other for position, ready to kill and maim if need be to get their shot at "savings". Is this what we've become? Is this what life in America amounts to?

You. My reader. Yea, YOU! Tell the truth. Are you rushing out to join in this perverted capitalistic cattle call, the turkey and dressing still trying to make it's way through you're intestines? Does the "free market" have YOU by the balls (well, let's be honest, it's the ovaries that lead THIS charge), having trained you over the last several decades to spend more than you will make in the next six months on stuff that you've been snowed into thinking you MUST have, or MUST give to your loved ones for Chris.....no.......not Christmas.....make that COMSUMMERMAS? If you are, then stop and think about it. No, I mean REALLY think about it.

If you are like most Americans, then you've spent a healthy portion of this past year working you ass off at a job that you really don't enjoy much, and you are about to blow a huge hunk of that change rushing out "saving" money on STUFF that you damn well know you really don't need and in the end is going to do absolutely NOTHING to enhance your quality of life. No, you know it, I know it, everybody knows it but can't ever seem to admit it, you will NOT be buying any happiness. Sure, the kids will be distracted for maybe a month, and then the song begins again, the refrain of "I gotta have that or this because everybody else has one". Sigh........and the bills mount up, the credit card companies get fatter and happier, our national debt keeps going up and up and.........you really think this won't come crashing down all around us one day real soon? Yea, ignore it, my friends, and it will go away...........right.

Well, due to having met and fell in love with a women, I am under contract to go over tomorrow and partake of the in-laws Thanksgiving repast. If I didn't mention this before, I personally do not have a very good relationship with some of my wife's family. But, what's a husband to do? I swallow my distaste and I go. But I WILL get my revenge, yessiree! I'm gonna go over there and I'm gonna overdose myself on triptophane! Yep, I'm gonna grin and bear it and act all civil and I'm gonna ENJOY that meal! It's only for one day. Till Christmas, that is. But that's another post altogether.........

Although I think that the origins of Thanksgiving is a bankrupt concept, I really don't have the kind of hatred for this holiday that I do for Christmas. If my wife hadn't gone Wiccan on me we might have come to blows by now over my hyper-scrooge attitude concerning that spending orgy that makes that last two months of the year such a pain in the ass. We'll celebrate Yule, and there's no pressure to go out and spend money we don't have on stuff we don't need.

Well, I apologize to my Christmas loving friends for having to read this rant, if you got this far, and I hope that if you insist on continuing the saga of Santa and that kid that was supposed to have been born on Christmas day but wasn't, then I hope you enjoy it and have the comfort of friends and family. Origins and meaning aside, there's truly nothing wrong with that.

6 comments:

whitesnake said...

Come on mate!!!!!
A free I repeat FREE FEED......

Oh to be in the USA for thanksgiving now that'll be something.

I only shop in the wee hours cos normally there is only other guys like myself who like to go in, get what ya need and get out.......

AWWWWWWW the love of a woman, The needs of a man, I try so hard to believe, but i'll never understand.


Happy thanksgiving mate.
May your belly be full,
You alcohol fill be merry,
Your love life a fantasy you want.
An those inlaws just a blur as you close the dunny door.

Buffalo said...

It is a sad thing when the retailers start decorating for christmas before they have removed the Halloween displays.

The knowledge that, in the midst of all the frantic, conspicious consumption there are children that are going to bed hungry and cold. There are people drowning in a sea of depression, lonliness and poverty.

I don't celebrate christmas so much. I celebrate the return of the sun.

THE Michael said...

What really gets me, Snake, Buf, is that we will all get together and dish out turkey and stuff to the homeless, as if this is only one of two days out of the year that they need a good meal. The rest of the year will be spent chasing them out of the parks or the alleyways instead of getting serious about this shameful problem and doing something real about it.

littleone said...

on a lighter note.........

i have ovaries and i hate .. i repeat.. i HATE shopping...... any time of the year.. doesn't matter.. shopping is a bloody punishment as far as i am concerned!!

i am attached to the original Grinch.. and i love.. i repeat .. i LOVE Christmas..... it starts this weekend for me.. and the GRINCH suggested it.. both grandkids are coming over to help bake gingerbread cookies and decorate the house.. well the big grandkid is...the baby grandkid will sleep and poop i am sure. .(he is only 8 weeks old)

For me this season is all about family... and fires and lights and candles and lots of love and memories...

Happy Thanksgiving The Michael..

morningstar

homo escapeons said...

ThanksGETTING Day is on the wrong day in the USofA anyway!
We Canuckistanis don't use it as the starting gun for the XMAS insanity because it is in October.

I will probably repost my 10 reasons why December 25th is sooo wrong...my pulse starts racing just thinking about the hypocrasy!!

Anyway I am sure that you survived the Turkey chemical rush and now you can relax and process it..and the real reasons for giving thanks to BOB everyday that your eyes open and your body is able to crawl out of bed.

My goodladywife and I 'do not prefer', apparently I am not supposed to say HATE around the young impressionable guy shooting plastic hockey pucks in the kitchen, where was I..oh yeah we don't go crazy..if you have to buy something and go in debt to prove your devotion ..what am I doin'..I'm preachin' to the choir man!

Enjoy the Silence.

Footpad said...

Well, my darling JP did engage in some black friday shopping, but did so from the comfort of our dining room and her wireless internet connection.

For myself, I blissfully slept away the hours of Spending Pandemonium. (I try sleep in on days off.)

Terrific riff, though, on the Annual Row that TDAT (The Day After Thanksgiving) has become in this country.

I keep hoping that enough people will wake up, realize that it's all a ploy, and choose to not participate. Wouldn't that shake a few boots over at Walmart-land?

We hope you and your wife have an enjoyable celebration!

Cheers!

-- f