Tuesday, November 21, 2006

It Has Begun.........















We are being assimilated.

Resistance is futile.

I began to notice this maybe three months ago. Jason, our brilliant bio-med guy, suddenly began to sport this THING attached to his ear. It reminded me of one of the appendages the borg would sport having been assimilated by the collective. Then the dude from the Data Processing department showed up with the same apparatus stuck to the side of his head. Then a department director, then, well, they seem to be multiplying.

We're not supposed to notice, I suppose, but being a die-hard Star Trek fan, I am immune to whatever camouflage appears to be working on my coworkers. I know what's going on. I see how they press the side of their heads and run off, obviously responding to some directive being fed to them via this insidious implant. It hasn't happened to the nurses yet, but I know it's only a matter of time.

I am choosing to remain aloof to the mounting evidence of this silent invasion for now, gathering my intelligence, observing them for some weak spot that might be exploited should this infestation threaten to move out of the high-tech areas and into the general population. I feel confident that not being able to afford a cell phone of my own has lessened my exposure to the nanites or whatever method of infection this enemy is employing against us. However, if one day I am confronted with a laser scanner built into one eye socket of a previously human coworker , I WILL fucking freak, grab a syringe full of the most powerful knock-me-down-and-call-me-Sally drug we stock in the med room, and singlehandedly save all mankind from this insidious silicon-driven collective.

Either that, or the second floor will be receiving a new and interesting admit, formerly known as THE Michael, who will remain calm and manageable as long as he can access his blogs every day.

If my posts start getting really, really good, well, you'll know what happened.

Oh, and I know the code word for the alien invasion...........

Remember this well.............

BLUETOOTH!

8 comments:

Tim ID said...

Bluetooth? So that's what it is. With the increase of people walking around talking to themselves, I thought they were just mainstreaming the mentally ill.

Buffalo said...

Is bluetooth anything like really bad blue balls?

darlingina said...

i found You! Now i have so much catching up to do. You appear to be doing just fine Michael. Blogging in leaps and bounds! Your new site here looks great. I wish You continued best of luck. Oh, seeing people wearing those bluetooths always makes me laugh.
Love & Peace,
~gina~

whitesnake said...

Your FUCKED...........
Sigh and i was just getting ta know ya too.........
Bugga I say..........

Exterminate, Exterminate, Exterminate,

Oh NO! the Daleks are here......

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

whitesnake said...

And I get a copy of Photoshop cos tim said so nah nah

littleone said...

send some of that magic medicine up here will Ya please The Michael - my Sir has been assimiliated too.....

helpppppppp

morningstar

Footpad said...

Oh, whew! For a minute there, I though you were referring to Republicans.

-- f

Jane Poe (aka Deborah) said...

Somebody's blogging mojo is going strong!! (oh wait, the voices told me to say that!)

cheers & peace! JP

(seriously - no headpieces here, I don't even like iPods!!)