Sunday, January 14, 2007

THE CASE OF THE TAINTED HAMBURGER

I was running around town getting things done, and around noon I decided to grab a quick bite at a fast food establishment. Mistake number ONE. While I was perusing the menu, I decided that I deserved to have a nice, big Angus beef burger, something I NEVER eat (red meat, that is), figuring, what the hell, a walk on the wild side once a year was justified. Mistake number TWO. Of course, this sandwich was no where near as big in real life as "The King" makes it out to be in the commercials, but it filled me up, that, and the strawberry shake. What in Bob's name was I THINKING?

I am now paying the price. At first I thought the beef was simply not agreeing with a digestive system that normally only has to handle chicken, fish, and turkey. Plus, I had two glasses of "Real" Sangria with dinner later on that night, which sometimes loosens things up in the pipeline. Well, let me tell you, the Banzai pipeline is fully open for business, my friends, and I think I picked up one of those dreaded "bugs" that fast food places are now dispensing to the public. I knew I was in trouble when aside from a queazy stomach, I started feeling a bit warm, then cold, then.....well, you get the picture. I have a fever.

I hadn't even fully made it over this bad chest cold and this damn thing gets me. I was planning on taking THE Wife to St. Augustine tomorrow, but between the rainy weather that moved in and this damn stomach bug, I don't think I'm gonna be up for it, which makes me feel even worse, remembering how bright THE Wife's face got when I promised her this impromptu vacation. Well, who knows, maybe I'll be over it by tomorrow, thanks to Imodium, tylenol, and whatever other wonder drug I can hit this with. Or maybe not. I just hope it's not contagious. The wife's had enough sickness to deal with.

I've really been enjoying the contributions being made by the citizens of Freedom's Place. One side effect seems to have been that the links are bringing you guys some more readers, who might have not noticed us otherwise. Viral friendship, unlike viral running man syndrome, is a GOOD thing........lol......groaaaaaannnnnnn........gotta run!

9 comments:

Romeo Morningwood said...

My Word...you need to start building up immunities for the coming apocalypse...junkfood is an essential element in training your system to eat garbage.
Once again you have proven to me that if you switch from our primal mandate of eating anything that crawls in front of your nose to a carefully managed sensible diet that you get into trouble down the road.
I am sorry that you had to learn this the hard way.
btw..is it just me but I think that the Burger KING is the creepiest mascot in history?
I find that his ungawdly blank stare and Chestire Cat grin are totally scary...right out of a horror film...even scarier than the food.

Alex Pendragon said...

Yea, HE, the Burger King is the downright creepiest charactor I have ever seen represent a product.

UPDATE: I woke up this morning feeling just fine! I don't know why this assault on my system induced a fever, but the tylenol seems to have knocked it out. And.....THESE PIPES ARE CLEAN!!!!!

I'm taking the wife to the oldest city as promised.

Buffalo said...

Go to Eckard Drug. Buy some Buckley's and Imodeum (sp?).

Then go to Burger King. Order a Whopper,fries and a strawberry shake. Hold the lettuce, hold the salt on the fries.

Sit down and very slowly eat it while thinking about how much I envy you at that moment.

Kindness said...

i am deathly afraid of clowns so the burger king really freaks me out... and the commercial where that guy wakes up and the burger king is sitting wide awake in bed next to him... holding a breakfast sandwich...

if that ever happened to me... talk about clean pipes... and a huge mess...

glad you are feeling better!

Time said...

Sorry to hear you had whopper of a reaction to Burger King. So much for having it your way. Next time, run for the border. Have fun on your mini vacation.

JP (mom) said...

So sorry to hear that the damn KING did you wrong. Of course, fast food is like playing a game of Russian Roulette ... no so good. Hope the healing comes on fast and the trip gets completed or rescheduled!
Much love & wishes for better health, JP

Miss Cellania said...

Glad you are feeling better now. You have to eat some real junk every once in a while to make your body appreciate a good diet. And to remind you why you choose the path you did!

Romeo Morningwood said...

Now get back up on that Hamburger ..er..Horse dammit!
Go get yourself a big, juicy, greasy, 4 lb, Triple Whopper!

"Butter up that bacon boy!"
Homer J Simpson

gautami tripathy said...

Have lots of fruits and veggies and fresh juices after you are fully well.